Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands.
The first woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn’t there!”
“I know!” the next woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his brother’s house, but when I called he wasn’t there.”
The third woman says, “I always know where my husband is.”
“Impossible!” both women exclaim, “He has you completely fooled!”
“Oh no,” says the woman. “I’m a widow.”
A new widowed requested the epitaph ‘Rest in Peace’ for her husband’s tombstone.
When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving.
This was impossible, the words were chiseled and could not be changed.
“In that case,” she said. “Please add ‘Till We Meet Again’.”
Wife not taking chances.
Every day Francesca went to the cemetery in her village to water the flowers on the grave of her deceased husband Enzo.
When she was finished she always walked backwards when leaving the grave.
One day her friend Bianca asked, “Francesca why do you always leave the cemetery walking backwards?”
Francesca answered, “When Enzo was alive he always told me, ‘You’ve got such a great eyes it could bring a dead man back to life.’ So I’m not taking any chances!”