The son of a financier bursts into his father’s office and says,
“Dad, lend me $5,000.”
“What for?” his father asks.
“I’ve got a sure tip on the market.”
“How much could we make?” his father asks.
“I’d say at least $2,000 – that’s $1,000 for each of us.”
“OK, son. Here’s $1,000,” his father said. “Let’s consider that we have made the deal and it has succeeded. You make $1,000 and I save $4,000.”
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A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made and everything picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands…
“Dear Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we would be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that Marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the dr*g we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for A.I.D.S so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home.”
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Two fathers chat outside school in the morning.
“Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?”
“Yes, man, I did. Why?”
“Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them…?”
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Son to dad: “Dad, why don’t you buy me a car?”
Dad: “My dear son, God gave you two legs for what purpose?”
Son: “One leg is for the brake and the other for the accelerator.”
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A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking,” said the secretary.
“This is my father!”
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Teacher: How old is your father?
Johnny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
