A little girl made a cup of tea for her mother.
“I didn’t know you could make tea,” said mum taking a sip.
“Yes, I boiled some water, added the tea leaves like you do, and then strained it into a cup. But I couldn’t find the strainer, so I used the fly swatter.”
“What!” exclaimed mum, choking on her tea.
“Oh, don’t worry. I didn’t use the new fly swatter. I used the old one.”
A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks.
As he’s standing there alone, he lights a cigarette. After a while he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in.
He says, “What’s this?”
She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.”
He turns beet red in horror and goes, “Oh God no…. Oh!!! I just…..”
She says, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.”
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?”
The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”
The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
A mother and father in their 40s loved their children very much.
They had three kids, two of whom were already grown up. Their third child, the youngest, was only 10 years old. They were tucking their young boy in to bed one night when they asked him what he wanted when he grew up.
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son.
Mom: But who will sleep with your 5 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son!
