The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for “Show & Tell,” and the next day every kid had something.
The teacher asks Anna: What did you bring?
“I brought a Walkman.”
“And what is it for?”
“You can listen to music with it!”
“That’s nice. What did you bring Maria?”
“I brought a can opener, it opens cans!”
“Well done. Umm, Johnny, I see you didn’t bring anything!”
“Yes, I did. It’s in the hall.”
So the entire class goes into the hallway.
“Umm, Johnny, what is that?”
“It’s a heart / lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going.”
“Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?”
“He said, ‘AAAARRRGGGH!!!'”
Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing “This damn thing is so heavy.”
A priest heard him and came out. “You shouldn’t be swearing” said the priest. “God hears you…He is everywhere…He’s in the chruch…He’s on the sidewalk…He’s everywhere.”
Then Little Johnny says: “Oh is he in my Wagon?”
The priest replies: “Yes Johnny, God is in your Wagon.”
Little Johnny says: “Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling.”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Employee: “Hi welcome to McDonald’s what can I get you today.”
Little Johnny: “Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke.”
Employee: “Sir you know you don’t have to put Mc in front of anything you order.”
Little Johnny: “Ok I just really like Donald’s.”
Employee: “Sir its McDonald’s.”
Little Johnny: “Ma’am you don’t have to put Mc in front of everything.”
