As Joe was trying to pack for vacation, his 3-year-old daughter was having a great time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her fingers in his mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers!” pretending to eat them before he rushed out of the room again.
When Joe returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears streaming down her face…
Joe said, “What’s wrong honey?”
Dejected, sad and broken, she looked up at him and said, “Daddy, where’s my booger?”
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.
After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked “How do fish breath under water?”
His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, “I really don’t know, son.”
The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, “How does our boat float on the water?”
Once again his dad replied, “Don’t know, son.”
Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, his dad replied. “Don’t know, son.”
The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time “Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not son.” replied his dad, “How else are you ever going to learn anything?”
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
“Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something.”
“Dad you don´t mea-”
“Yes I do. You’ve earned it.” Says the father as he passes a copy of ‘1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition’ to the son.
“Dad I dont know what to say…I’m honored.”
“Hi honored,” Replies the father. “I’m dad.”
My daughter hates school.
One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put daddy in jail.”
She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked, “How long would you have to stay?”
