Liam and Oliver had not seen each other in many years.
Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Liam invited Oliver to visit him in his new apartment. “I got a wife and two kids and I`d love to have you visit us.”
Oliver, “Great. Where do you live?”
Liam, “Here`s the address. And there`s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I`ll let you in.”
“Good. But tell me…what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?”, asks Oliver.
“Surely, you`re not coming empty-handed!”
A man says to his friend,
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week.
The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and… took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff’s story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: “Were you gambling, Father?”
The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, “Oh, Lord, forgive me!” and then said aloud: “No, your honor, I was not gambling.”
“Were you gambling, Reverend?” the judge asked the minister.
The minister repeated the priest’s actions and said, “No, your honor, I was not.”
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: “Were you gambling, Rabbi?”
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied, “With whom?”
