Jerry and Stan are walking down the street when they see a stunning woman in a first-floor window, blowing kisses at them.
Jerry says, “Hey, look at that! That woman is blowing kisses at me!”
Stan replies, “Just ignore her. Don’t pay her any mind.”
The woman then gestures for him to come up to her apartment. Jerry says, “Did you see that? She’s calling for me!”
Stan insists, “Man, don’t go up there!”
Jerry asks, “Why not? Why don’t you want me to go see her?”
Stan pleads, “Dude, just listen to me. Don’t go!”
Jerry ignores him and runs into the building. The woman comes down to meet him, and they go up to her apartment. Just as they are about to get into bed, they hear a car horn outside. The woman looks out the window and says, “Oh no, that’s my husband!”
“Crap!” Jerry exclaims.
“Don’t worry,” she says, pointing to a large pile of clothes. “I’ll just tell him you’re the new housekeeper. Here, start ironing these clothes.”
Because the husband stays home, Jerry spends the entire day ironing. The next day, Jerry goes to Stan’s house and tells him the story.
“You won’t believe what happened. Her husband came home, and to avoid suspicion, she had me iron a huge pile of clothes. I was stuck there ironing all day!”
“I told you not to go.” sighs Stan, “All those clothes you spent the day ironing? I washed them the day before.”
Three men meet at the gate of heaven at the same time.
St. Peter comes out and asks them one by one how they lost their lives.
The first man says: “I thought I had a wonderful life. I had a beautiful wife and we had a lovely place on the 22th floor of an apartment building. I came home from work early today, and I found my wife on the bed and another man’s clothes on the floor. So of course I started looking for the bastard who slept with my wife.
She insisted that there was nobody else in the apartment. I searched everywhere, looked into every wardrobe, checked under every table but did not find anybody. Then I went to the balcony to have a smoke and cool down. When I got out I saw the man outside the balcony, clinging to the railing. I took off my shoe and hit him on his hands till he fell down. When I looked down to see if he was dead I saw that he had managed to grab a balcony railing of an apartment on the 18th floor. I got so mad, I went and grapped our fridge to throw it down on him to finish it up. But then my leg got entangled with the cable of the fridge and as the fridge was falling it dragged me down with it – that´s how I died.”
The second man says: “I was a window cleaner. Today I had a job at a highrise. When I was cleaning a window on the 25th floor I lost my balance and fell down. As I was falling, I was able to grab a balcony railing but the next moment a man appeared and hit me on my hands with his shoe. I lost my grip and fell again but was again able to hold on to a balcony railing. The last things I saw in my life were a fridge and the man flying toward me.
The third man says: “Alright, picture this. You just got finished banging some dude’s wife. He comes home. You hide in the refrigerator.”
