In the back woods of Tennessee, a redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be at lantern and said,
“Here you hold this high so I can see what I am doing.”
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
“Whoa there,” said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
“Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” said the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered another baby girl.
“No, no don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ’em?”
A couple went to have their baby delivered…
Upon arrival, the doctor said there is this new technology that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father, via a machine. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer ratio to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband over and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him…..
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband both were ecstatic…
When they reached home…The cook was lying dead in the kitchen!
A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?
Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman… I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”
“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.”
“Yes, there was a girl… once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything… I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”
“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.
“Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man.“
