For years Frank’s knees or elbows would start to ache at 8:50am and 8:50pm.
At first he thought nothing of it….he was getting older and he figured it was all part of aging.
After about 5 years Frank got concerned and starting seeing doctor after doctor trying to figure out what what was causing it. Desperate he started looking to alternative medicine…no help…he started seeing doctors running pill mills…no help. The pain would come back twice a day every day.
At his wits’ end he goes and sees a doctor in a filthy clinic. This doctor had been suspended many times, sued and lost every lawsuit, but Frank was losing hope for a diagnosis.
Sitting on an exam table in a thin paper exam gown, Frank tells the sleazy doctor.. “Every day, every day at 8:50 I’m in pain….the best doctors in the state cannot figure out what the cause is.”
The sleazy doctor sitting there in his stained lab coat….filter-less cigarette dangling from his mouth looks up and down at Frank and finally says: “It’s simple. You have ten-to-ninetis.”
Oliver`s wife, Amelia, and kids all came down with the flu.
Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Oliver went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!”
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?”
Two doctors, Dean and Gable, are treating a man with lung disease.
They’re explaining how his sm.o.king w*d has led to his condition worsening.
“But it’s just herbal!” the patient protested. “How can it be bad?” Dr. Jenkins sighed.
“Nature isn’t all innocent. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden – if you sit under it for just 5 minutes, you will die. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s safe for you!”
The man seemed to accept that, and promised to stop his smoking.
After he left, the doctors went to lunch. As they were sitting down to eat, Dr. Smith asked, “Oh by the way, what IS that plant that kills you if you sit under it?”
“A water lily.”
