It had been a peaceful day on the farm, until a plane came hurtling from the clouds.
With a sputter, a lurch, and a final defiant growl, it clipped the edge of a tree line and crash-landed square in the middle of old Elijah Cooper’s pasture.
The dust hadn’t even settled when Elijah, a wiry farmer in his seventies arrived on the scene.
There, tangled in branches but miraculously unharmed, was the pilot—mud-streaked, wide-eyed, and dangling awkwardly from the lower limbs of an old sycamore.
Elijah stood below, arms crossed, chewing slowly on a piece of straw.
The pilot finally freed himself and dropped to the ground with a grunt, brushing himself off with shaking hands. His face was a mix of adrenaline and frustration, eyes darting around the wreckage of his aircraft.
“I was trying to break a record,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. “Everything was going fine until… well, it wasn’t.”
Elijah didn’t flinch. He simply looked the man up and down, then cast a glance up at the twisted metal in the tree.
“Well,” he said, voice dry as summer hay, “congrats, son.”
The pilot looked at him, confused.
“You’ve gone and done something no one around here’s managed before,” Elijah continued, adjusting his hat.
The pilot blinked. “What do you mean?”
Elijah gave the tree one last look and nodded. “You’re the first man in these parts to come down a tree… without first climbing up it.”
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.
A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet.
He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy.
He can’t hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy’s chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
“So,” says the little guy, “are you feeling better now?”
A plane takes off with two hours delay.
Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
“Why did we take off so late?”
To which the flight attendant replies:
“Well, the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.”
