A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient`s room.
He found Bob sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Joe was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked Bob what he was doing.
Bob replied, `Can`t you see I`m sawing this piece of wood in half?`
The doctor inquired of Bob what Joe was doing.
Bob replied, `Oh, he`s a little crazy. He thinks he`s a light bulb.`
The doctor looks up and notices Joe`s face is going all red. The doctor asks Bob, `If he`s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?`.
Bob replies, `What? And work in the dark?`
Michael, Owen and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then Owen jumps and breaks both legs.
Michael looks over the side and refuses to jump.
“Congratulations! You`re a free man. Just tell me why didn`t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which Michael answered, “Well Doc, I can`t swim!”
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.
“You’ve got to help me. I’m losing my memory, Doctor,” he sobbed. “I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that’s gone now. Since my memory began failing, I’ve lost the business – I couldn’t remember my clients’ names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn’t they – some nights I wouldn’t get home until four or five in the morning. I’d forget where I lived… And it’s getting worse. Doctor, it’s getting worse!”
“This is not an unusual form of neurosis,” the psychiatrist said soothingly. “Now tell me, just how long ago did you first become aware of this condition?”
“Condition?” The man sat up in his chair. “What condition?!?”
