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A company hires a new CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $200.00 a week.”

The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay,now GET OUT!”

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks ” Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

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With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, ”Pizza delivery guy”

A mother stops his son from shoving candy into his face

A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.

“Don’t eat so much candy all at once!”

“Why?” the boy replied.

“If you eat too much candy, your stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!”

The boy is shocked by this image and immediately stops eating candy.

The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman.

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The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, “I know what you’ve been doing.”

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