Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm in the hills.
One day, Pa discovered that the hole under the outhouse was full. Not sure what to do, he went inside and told Ma about the problem.
“Well, why don’t you ask the young’un down the road?” Ma suggested. “He’s a college gradjyate, he must know what to do.”
So, Pa drove down to the neighbor’s house and asked, “Mr. College Gradjyate, my outhouse hole’s full, and I don’t know what to do to empty it.”
The young man replied, “Get yourself two sticks of d.y.n.amite—one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Place them under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will s.h.o.ot the outhouse up in the air, and while it’s in the air, the second one will go off, spreading the mess all over your land. The outhouse will then come back down right on top of the empty hole.”
Pa thanked the young man and headed to the hardware store, where he bought two sticks of d.y.n.a.mite—one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He returned home, placed the d.y.n.a.mite under the outhouse, and lit the fuses. Then, he ran behind a nearby tree to take cover.
Just then, Ma came running out of the house and into the outhouse. The first stick of d.y.n.amite went off, sending the outhouse flying into the air. BOOM! The second stick went off, and poop sprayed across the entire farm.
WHAM! The outhouse came c.r.a.shing back down, landing squarely on the hole.
Pa rushed to the outhouse, threw open the door, and asked, “Ma, are you all right?”
As she pulled up her panties, Ma replied, “Yeah, but I sure am glad I didn’t fart in the kitchen!”
Paddy and Murphy meet at the supermarket.
Paddy and Murphy meet at the supermarket and Paddy says, “Hey, man! How have you been?”
“Oh, great,” says Murphy. “I have recently bought an elephant.”
“An elephant? Are you serious?” asks Paddy.
“Yeah, man. The kids love him, he’s their best friend. They call him Mr Trunks. He washes my car with his trunk. I don’t need to cut my lawn anymore, he grazes down all the grass. It’s such low maintenance. My wife is so happy.”
“Oh man, that sounds amazing. I wish I had an elephant,” says Paddy.
“Whatd’ya knows, he’s for sale. I got him for 30 grand but seeing it’s you, you can have him for 20.”
“Excellent, it’s a deal.”
Weeks go by and they meet again.
“Hey man, how are you doing?”
“What the hell is wrong with that bastard elephant?? He shits all over my garden, I spend hours every day shoveling! The kids are terrified of him, and my wife is divorcing me!”
“Aww, that’s not a nice way to talk about Mr Trunks. You won’t be able to sell him that way!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
