There is a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with two monkeys and a woman on board.
The control centre is the US calls:
“Monkey number 1, Monkey number 1 to the television screen.” He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen.
A few moments later the control centre calls again:
“Monkey number 2, monkey number 2 to the television screen.” He sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.
A little later on, headquarters calls again:
“Woman, please woman approach the screen.”
She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says…
“I know I know!! Feed the monkeys, don’t touch anything.”
A man and a monkey walk into a bar.
The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps onto the bar and eats a very old olive that was sitting there.
The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He ate that disgusting olive!”
The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”
The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.
A couple days later, the man and the monkey walk back into the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps onto the pool table and swallows the cue ball.
The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He swallowed the cue ball!”
The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”
The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.
A week later, the man and the monkey walk back into the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps onto the bar, picks up a cherry, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender says, “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. Your monkey stuck that cherry up his butt and ate it.”
The man says, “Yeah, ever since the cue ball incident, he measures everything first.”
