An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer…
“As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.”
“If his eyes don’t flutter, say, For the frames. The lenses will be $50.”
“If his eyes still don’t flutter, you add …’Each.”
Customers are so innocent!
Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700-2300 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries; can you help?”
Operator: “Where did you get the number from, sir?”
Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Centre”.
Operator: “Sir, they are our opening and closing hours.”
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.
She told them in certain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open.
She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result — the door bounced back open.
Convinced, these rude people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said:
“Ma’am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat.”
An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer lying across three seats near the back of the theatre.
He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The supervisor calls the police, who come and tell the customer that he can only take up one seat. “What’s wrong with you?” they ask. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The police officer asks the man, “Where did you come from?”
The man lifts a hand in the air, and says, “The balcony.”
