At a friends’ wedding reception,
the groom stood to say a few words.
He turned to his bride’s mother. “You’ve given me a gift,” he began, “a gift that…”
Here he paused in thought, whereupon his mother-in-law completed the sentence,
“That you can’t return!”
A tightwad was looking for a gift to give a friend.
Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken and he could purchase it for almost nothing.
He asked the store to send it hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit.
In due time he received a note: “Thanks for the vase,” it read. “It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately.”
A young man excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, “Ma, I’m going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women to the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry?”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma! You’re right. How did you know?”
The mother replies, “I don’t like her.”
