A kid was a very good painter.
Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real.
She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid.
The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and now I am in the hospital.”
A young boy walks into a barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer,
“He’s the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, calls the boy over, and asks him, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
“Hey, son! Can I ask you something? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? ”
The boy replied:
“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway.
At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. “Wow!” he says. “You did eight miles today! That’s amazing!”
The second day, the blonde’s production is down to four miles. “Still pretty darn good,” the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office.
“What’s going on?” he asks. “The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What’s the problem?”
The blonde rolls her eyes and says “Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!”
Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a Party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, ‘My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel He studied Economics And Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.‘
The second guy said, ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.’
The third man said: ‘Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.‘
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’
One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. …What about your son?‘
The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing at a nightclub.‘
The three friends said: ‘What a shame… What a disappointment. ‘
The fourth man replied: ‘No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.‘
