Once is enough
During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said,
“You know, if something happened to Lloyd, I don’t think I could ever marry again.”
Her friend nodded sympathetically.
“I know what you mean,” she said. “Once is enough.”
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed, each reading a book.
Suddenly the wife closes her book, looks over at her husband and asks a sensitive question.
Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Husband: What? Definitely not!
Wife: Why not? Don’t you like being married?
Husband: Well, of course, I do.
Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
Husband: Okay, okay, I’d get married again.
Wife: You would? (with a hurt look)
Husband: (makes audible groan)
Wife: Would you live in our house?
Husband: Sure, it’s a great house.
Wife: Would you sle*p with her in our bed?
Husband: Where else would we sle*p?
Wife: Would you let her drive my car?
Husband: Probably, it’s almost new.
Wife: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband: No, I’m sure she’d want her own.
Wife: Would you take her golfing with you?
Husband: Sure, golfing together is always fun.
Wife: Would she use my clubs?
Husband: Of course not, she’s left-handed.
Wife: — silence —
Husband: Sh*t.
