The police stop a man and woman who have their seatbelts on.
Police: “hi you’re the first people today with their seatbelts on, so we want to give you an award of 5000 dollars.”
The policeman seeing the happy couple gets curious and asks “what are you going to do with the money?”
The man answers: “I’m going to take lessons for my driver’s license”
The woman:” don’t listen to him. When he is drunk he says stupid things!”
The man in the backseat: “I told you not to ride in a stolen car!”
A voice from the trunk: “did we cross the border?”
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A horse walks into a bar and order a beer
A horse walks into a bar.
He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer.”
The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner.
“Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer.”
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies “Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don’t know the price of beer.”
So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer.
“You know,” says the barkeep, “we don’t get many horses around here.”
To which the horse replies, “At these prices I’m not surprised.”