A hot dog vendor brings a homeless man to court for standing near the stand and enjoying the smell of the meat as he ate his bread.
Judge to the homeless man: “Do you deny this?”
Homeless man: “No, your honor.”
Judge: “Do you have any coins?”
Homeless man: “Just a few quarters, your Honor.”
Judge: “Give them here.”
Homeless man: “Your Honor, they’re all I have!”
Judge: “That may be so, but please just give me those coins.”
Homeless man: “Very well.” Hands over the coins.
Judge to the stand owner: “Pay close attention.” Drops coins on the table. “Did you hear that?”
Stand owner: “Yes, your Honor.”
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Judge: “Excellent. Now you take the sound of those coins as payment for the smell of the meat.”
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey. What happened?”
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“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”