A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”
His wife says, “Take half and leave your ass!”
The man replies, “Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!”
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A married couple is out one night at a dance club.
There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
The husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
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A man approaches a very beautiful woman in the supermarket and says, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the beautiful woman.
To which the man replied, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
