A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with two drops of water.
The bartender gave her the drink and she said, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today.”
The bartender said, “Now that it’s your birthday, this one’s on me.”
When the lady finished her drink, a woman to her right said, “I want to buy you a drink too.”
The lady said, “Thank you, how sweet of you. Okay, bartender, I’d like another Scotch with two drops of water. ”
“Coming up,” said the bartender.
When she finished drinking, a man to her left said, “I want to buy you a drink too.”
The lady said, “Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch with two drops of water. ”
“Coming right up,” the bartender said.
When he gave her the drink, this time, he said, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman giggled, and replied, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”
LOL!!
An Old Lady Was Driving On The Highway.
One day an old lady was driving on the highway.
She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit.
However, when she looked in her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind!
And to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights.
She thought, “Uh-oh, what have I done now?” I am not speeding. I’m not drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license dues and everything!”
So she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the side right behind her car.
She drove her car slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a ticket when she knew she didn’t deserve it.
A policeman walked up to her window and spoke to her.
The lady pointed to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf.
The policeman smiled slightly, and knowing sign language, signed back, “I know. I’m here to tell you that your horn is stuck.”
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
