My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, “No.”
I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?”
“No,” he replied.
I just knew that he must have, because the smell was getting worse. Sooooo…. I asked one more time, “Matt, did you have an accident?”
Matt jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled…. “SEE, MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!!”
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified!
Some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!!
Another old gentleman stopped us in the parking lot as we were leaving, bent over to my son and said:
“Don’t worry son, my wife accuses me of the same thing all the time… I just never had the nerve to make the point like you did.”
Intelligent Husband!
Wife is busy packing her clothes.
Man: And where are you going?
Wife: I’m moving to my mother.
Husband also starts packing.
Wife: And where do you think your going?
Husband: I’m also moving to my mother.
Wife: And what about the kids?
Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I’m moving to my mother then I guess they must also move to their mother.
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
”OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”
“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
